Vivian Ho (SHE/Her)

THERAPIST + SUPERVISOR

I graduated from Simmons University in Boston, MA with my Masters in Social Work and Business Administration, gaining a solid foundation as a clinician and the ability to understand organizations from a macro perspective. I have experience working with adolescents and young adults, previously working with a non-profit serving homeless and at-risk youth in Boston and with Alternatives Inc. in the communities of Chicago. I have worked in schools, hospitals, outpatient clinics, and even O’Hare International airport.

I welcome discussions of intersectionality in therapy, whether or not they have previously been explored. As a first-generation Chinese American, I do my best to remain aware of my own identities and privileges. We will work to understand who you are at this stage of life, how you interact with others, how you navigate in the world, and where those thoughts or behaviors stem from. I utilize aspects of CBT, DBT, and narrative therapy to meet you where you are. I value humor, growth, openness, transparency, creativity, and balance – in practice and in life.

Questions? vivian@forrealtherapy.com

INTERVIEW BIO WITH Vivian Ho

How have you seen culture play a role in your therapy practice? 

Culture has always been in my personal life as a first-generation Asian American.In my practice, it’s still something that’s developing. When entering the field, conversations surrounding culture were very minimal in graduate school. It was a requirement of the degree rather than something that was woven into what we did. When I began working with Youth of Color and their families, that is when I was actually able to pull this into my practice. My therapy practice is really about helping clients, especially youth, who may not have had opportunities for conversations about what culture means to them. My practice is about being mindful of what culture means to us, the collective, and what role we want it to play in our lives. So, it’s evolving. 

How do you uphold community in your practice?

Community is naming who has supported us, who is in our lives, and who continues to uplift us. Whether that is friends, peers, or family. I think we uphold community by also having outlets to be able to express who we really are, myself included. For clients, it’s getting down to– What do they really enjoy? What do they fill their time with? and How do we find or create the spaces to support what helps us live fulfilling lives? 

What was your journey getting here to FRT?

Finding FRT was just really really good luck, even just to even know it existed. Part of me believes that people end up where they’re supposed to be, so that calms some of my worries about different choices I could have made in life.

There’s always been a pull in me to embrace who I am and to see that as an asset as opposed to something that is overlooked. I have felt like my identity was not seen as an asset in other spaces I’ve been in. So it was a driving force for me to find a place where I really felt understood and that I wasn't just another clinician to add to a roster –  I was an individual who had specific experiences and skills that clients would be drawn to. 

When going through the interview process and talking to people part of the FRT community, I felt a little warmness in the center of my chest. I feel accepted as a person and not only am I helping clients, I’m also helping myself grow.

What are you trying to grow into?

I want to be able to strengthen the clinical skills I have so I can be effective and help my clients progress forward in an intentional way. I am continuing to figure out where the needs are and where I can make the most impact, whether that is continuing to work with adolescents or working with others towards uncovering their cultural identity. 
Or, maybe it’s something else I haven't figured out yet, I never want to be stagnant. There’s always room to find a niche and what I’d be really good at.

What do you dream of?

As a therapist, I have found what I enjoy doing. Having people be so vulnerable and open up to me is a privilege. I value being able to have connections with people and want to continue having those experiences by creating an environment where people feel safe enough to do that. A plus would be having a practice attached to a dog shelter, where clients can access emotional support through animals.

For myself, I want to be more connected to my community. Part of why I became a therapist is because of my parents’ immigration to the United States. Luckily, there is a Chinatown community for them in New York where they can be comfortable. I have always wished that I would be able to connect with them and my culture more deeply, but cultural, generational, and language barriers exist. I hope to be able to connect with my family and culture in a way that preserves them for future generations. 

What should I expect from you as my therapist? 

I uphold the basic skill of therapy: to be a listener. But at the same time, I want therapy to be an active, lively, and fun place. A place where I might question, challenge, or provide other perspectives. I hope to help the client uncover things about themselves, their behavior, or their past to navigate where they are trying to go next. I’d like to work with them to figure out who they want to be and how to be okay with that.

What communities do you want to prioritize in your work?

I enjoy working with adolescents and young adults. It will always be a challenging time and I like learning from them and hope they can learn from me. At this age, the relationship with a therapist is unique because there’s so much authority that already exists in their lives, attempting to have a say about who they should be and what they should do. I hope to be an outlier in their lives where therapy is more of a collaborative place.

I also prioritize working with People of Color and working through identity. Whether I have a client who has never considered it before or has already grappled with this, identity is so interwoven in people’s lives and I always want to consider that this space may be the first time where people have been able to do that work.

How do you explore your own identity?

I think I was really lucky because I grew up in Queens, New York. I was exposed to restaurants, language, and people who looked like me and also a lot of other people who were very different from me. At that time, I didn’t really think about my cultural identity as much because I was surrounded by people who understood me on that level. It wasn't until I went to college in Boston, a predominantly White city, where I realized that there are aspects about myself that I still had to figure out. It was both wanting to hide from my cultural identity and wanting to lean towards it at the same time. Through the years, I’ve focused on trying to figure out who I am and not being ashamed of it; embracing the foods I used to eat as a kid, asking my parents to share more of themselves, relearning my native language, and trying to connect with people who understand my experiences.

How do you incorporate your own identity into your work?

In session, I bring myself as a person and as a therapeutic tool, with personal experiences and perspectives. I work actively and empathically to connect with the client, understand what makes them unique, and discover how they hope to grow. My own experiences are a way of understanding where they’re coming from and relating to them, while intentionally centering them. My hope is for the client to invite me into their world. At that moment, I am a visitor and part of this chapter in their journey.

What is your universal piece of advice?

It’s what I say to myself. It can be kind of blunt and I always hesitate to give this to other people but I’ll go for it: sometimes people don’t care.

We are so worried about what other people think and what they might say that we get fixated and overthink– “they’re judging me, they’re watching me, they must see everything I’m doing.” The truth is people don't care all the time because they are busy worrying about themselves and probably worrying about what other people think of them. We all think the spotlight is on us, when in reality, everyone has their own bright lights shining down on themselves. It doesn’t mean we go through life alone, but we are more intentional with who we choose to surround ourselves with and how they make us feel. So take a deep breath, remind yourself that everyone has their own struggles, and try to go easier on yourself.

Reminder to self that things may not go the way you planned. Something you can’t control can throw you completely off, causing frustration, sadness, disbelief, and discouragement. Allow flexibility in the “plan” that didn’t work out. You can wait for something to change, or you can find another solution to get you from point A to point B. If the next plan doesn’t work out, frustration ensues. But then allow yourself to try another route and pat yourself on the back for not being defeated by everything that has already gone wrong. In these moments, take a deep breath and don’t forget that things will be okay. Maybe even take the world in for a moment, because one minute to yourself isn’t a waste. The chaos you’re experiencing right now is only temporary. Your plan might bring you from point A to C to D, back to A, but eventually making it to B. Either way you’ve made it, haven’t you?

Say a bit about the task/creative process/brief description of what the creative task gives/gave to you

I was waiting on the subway platform, seeing the screen flash “4 minutes” til the next train for the past hour. I had no idea how I was going to get home, but decided that waiting another minute would drive me mad and do me no good. This mind blurb is a response to how defeated I felt in that moment, but how I remained flexible and allowed myself to try other paths. At one point walking from 59th street to 50th, I caught a glimpse of Times Square at night and thought about how electric it looked at that moment. I was in a rush, but still snapped a quick picture for myself. I eventually did make my way home, realizing that if I just stayed put I would’ve eventually caught the train, but it was a reminder to myself that the path may not always be linear, but you’ll still end up where you’re supposed to be.