daniel westheimer (he/him/his)

I am a human first, and a therapist second. As a human, I am a nerdy queer, jewish therapist  who is passionate about creative endeavors and the power of community. As a therapist, I work to break down the social hierarchy between client and therapist. I am a trauma-informed, EMDR-trained therapist with a strong belief in the power of a supportive therapeutic alliance. I am sex and kink positive/knowledgable and poly-positive. The modalities I mainly use are EMDR, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Internal Family Systems (IFS), all of which have been used for the treatment of PTSD, acute and chronic trauma, phobias, anxiety, and depression. 

I work with individuals and couples over the age of 18. My primary focus and experience has been with LGBTQIA+ and neurodivergent clients. I strive to create a judgment-free environment where clients can express themselves freely, working toward personal discovery and growth. I am by no means a blank slate: I use my colorful and expressive nature to help build trust with my clients, and my love for pop-culture influences his therapeutic style, drawing inspiration from movies and television to guide healing.

I am a Northwestern University graduate with a master’s degree in clinical mental health counseling. I received my undergraduate degree at Webster University, where I earned a BFA in Acting. There, my strengths of empathy and curiosity were developed. Inspired by the pandemic, I put down my scripts and costumes and decided to make a career change away from the theater, and toward the helping profession of counseling.

I believe we are all lifelong learners, and view therapy as part of that learning process. In my free time I enjoy thrifting, making and eating good food, listening to podcasts, playing music, hanging out with my cats and dog (Miso, Soup & Charlie), watching and logging movies on Letterboxd, watching television, taking photos and going on Wikipedia deep dives.

Questions? daniel@forrealtherapy.com

INTERVIEW BIO WITH daniel westheimer

How did your background in acting shape your approach to therapy, and what role do creativity and storytelling play in your sessions?

My background in acting and therapy are deeply interconnected. Acting teaches empathy, perspective-taking, and understanding stories—skills that translate directly to therapy. Just as actors do a text analysis to understand a character, I view the intake process in therapy as a way to get to know a client. Community is another aspect that connects theater and therapy. Theater is inherently collaborative; even a one-person show involves a team behind the scenes. Similarly, I see socializing and community engagement as crucial factors in mental health. In our sessions, storytelling plays a key role too. I work with EMDR and narrative-based approaches, exploring moments in a client’s life that have shaped their core beliefs. We aim to unpack the stories society tells us and reprocess them to foster healthier, more adaptive perspectives. Creativity is central to my therapeutic approach. I strive to create a space where we can both show up vulnerably, embracing our creative sides together.

You’re passionate about film—how do movies influence your therapeutic style?

Movies are deeply woven into my therapeutic style, and I often reference films tailored to my clients' interests. As I get to know my clients, I learn what media resonates with them—if someone’s into TV, we might discuss relevant shows. I use media and pop-culture to build rapport because traditional therapeutic language can sometimes feel distant or clinical. Films and pop culture offer a more relatable way to communicate ideas and concepts. We might talk about Pixar, Marvel, or even something like a Lynch film or a Billy Wilder Picture if it aligns with the client’s interests. Film becomes a tool that helps me connect with the client in front of me. The narratives and stories from movies can offer powerful, accessible ways to explore and understand therapeutic concepts and my client’s lives. In this way, we can come to have a shared vision or understanding of their experiences.

You’ve been trained in approaches like EMDR, ACT, and IFS. How do you integrate these modalities with clients?

What’s great about the therapeutic modalities I utilized is that they can complement each other, almost like nesting dolls, fitting within a client-centered approach. Each modality offers different tools to connect with and support clients. For instance, if I’m working with someone who dissociates, EMDR might not be the best fit, but IFS could be more effective. If a client resonates with mindfulness, we might explore values and mindfulness exercises through ACT. In the first few sessions, I focus on understanding what the client is drawn to. No modality is one-size-fits-all, and I always prioritize building rapport and tailoring the approach to each person. At the end of the day, it’s about two people in a room forming a relationship—without that connection, no modality will truly matter.

How do you encourage clients to express emotions, especially those who find it hard to connect with themselves?

I believe therapy is a space for modeling emotional expression. I’m not a blank slate—I express my own emotions during sessions to help normalize that it’s okay to feel. I also emphasize that it’s perfectly fine to struggle with connecting to emotions or to feel guarded; trust in therapy is something that’s earned, not given automatically just because we’re in a session together. If a client is guarded, I’ll acknowledge it gently, but I never push them to feel something specific. My goal is to normalize an ability to name whatever you’re feeling, explore what those emotions are trying to communicate, and understand what your nervous system is responding to. It’s about learning to tune into those signals, especially when we’re feeling overwhelmed or disconnected.

What is trauma-informed care, and how do you practice it?

Trauma-informed care means seeing the client as a whole person, considering their experiences, identities, and the nuances that make them unique. It’s like painting with detail-oriented brushes rather than broad strokes. In my practice, I invest time in building rapport and creating a foundation of grounding and regulation tools before addressing trauma. Rushing in can risk retraumatization. With EMDR, clients can process trauma without needing to share every detail, maintaining control over their narrative. My focus is on trust, safety, and allowing clients to explore their discomfort without pressure.

What is your universal piece of advice?

Look for the sparks of joy in life. In these tiny sparks of joy, there is beauty and connection. So notice the flowers on the side of the road, the beautiful sunset, a silly youtube cat compilation, a dumb joke with a friend or coworker. A night at the movies or an afternoon watching the latest tv show on your couch. Those moments can be healing. Healing doesn’t have to come from religious organizations, a hospital or a therapist; it can come from community, from everyday connections, and from the simple beauty in the world. It’s those small, fleeting sparks, where growth can be cultivated.