ANdrea Tan (she/her/hers)

I am a pre-licensed clinical psychologist who works with children and their families on themes of trauma, parent-child relationships, adjustment to changes, growth, and learning to be attuned to self and others. My past professional experiences include working in inpatient and outpatient hospital settings, a trauma center, a mobile unit, and community mental health centers, with adults, families, children, and adolescents.

While your child is the identified client, I collaborate with parents to support both the parent(s) and the child. I aim to understand both the parent(s) and child as the parent-child relationship often serves as the child’s anchor as they navigate life. I highly value identifying one’s own needs, thoughts, and feelings, perspective-taking, and learning to express and communicate effectively to the other person (i.e., between parent and child, peers, and siblings). Thus, my work with your child (and you) will seek to understand and increase awareness of both internal experiences (thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations) and external experiences (i.e., behaviors, social relationships, observed/presenting concerns, or reactions). My approach to treatment is goal-focused yet playful, colorful, and exploratory as I learn who you and your child are and how I may aid in supporting your mental health goals and needs.

Questions? andrea@forrealtherapy.com

INTERVIEW BIO WITH Andrea Tan

What drew you to working with children and their families, especially in navigating trauma and parent-child relationships?

I think there are two parts to this! First, I love working with children and families because children are unapologetically themselves and naturally curious. As they grow, children need support and guidance to become the person they want to be. Working with children means understanding and scaffolding them to become the best version of themselves. This can look like many things, and I believe parents are the anchor in a child’s life. Thus, my work with children includes collaborating with parents on alternate ways they may support their child.

The second part is trauma. Unfortunately, many people experience trauma, and that drew me to this work. Children are resilient, and while trauma happens, it should not define them. Parents often want to support their children but may not know how, and that’s where we come in—to help navigate the trauma, make meaning of it, and close that chapter so the child can focus on their present and future. My goal is to help children and families process and work through trauma so the child can continue growing into the person they aspire to be.

What role do you think the parent-child relationship plays in a child’s emotional development, and how do you approach strengthening this bond?

Parents play a vital role in a child’s emotional development. I strongly believe that they are a key influence. From infancy, children look to their parents' reactions to understand how to respond to the world, and this dynamic often carries into adulthood. When it comes to strengthening this bond, I work with both the child and the parent(s). I work with the child to understand their own thoughts and feelings independent of others and that they are their own growing individual person separate from others. I work closely with parents to help them become more aware of their own reactions and emotions. It’s important for parents to understand themselves as individuals, which in turn helps them better understand how their responses affect their child. By deepening both the child and the parents’ self-awareness, we can strengthen the parent-child relationship and foster a more supportive, emotionally healthy connection and attunement between the parent and child.

What can I expect when I bring my child in?

When you bring your child in, you can expect open communication between me, you, and your child. My work with your child may mostly involve individual sessions, but I’ll also involve you through check-ins to support effective communication outside therapy. Communication varies—especially for kids—so we might use play, art, or other creative methods to help them explore and express their feelings. 

The goal is to help your child understand and express their internal experiences in a way that feels right to them and can be understood by others. Through this, we’ll increase insight and identify connections between their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Given my experience with trauma work, I emphasize psychoeducation in areas like bodily autonomy, boundary setting, and emotional regulation. We’ll maintain developmentally appropriate transparency, building trust and collaboration in a goal-directed, intentional way.

There will always be developmentally appropriate transparency between all of us that is on the basis of trust and collaboration that is goal-directed and intentional.

What are some cultural factors that are brought into your work with children and families?

As an immigrant woman who grew up in Malaysia, I’ve experienced a culture very different from that in America. This background helps me appreciate that every family has its own unique set of values and cultural influences. My role isn’t to judge but to understand the function of each family's values and how they may be impacting your child or your relationships—especially when navigating challenges like assimilation or generational differences. I approach this by working together to understand and bridge these cultural aspects, fostering a stronger connection through that shared understanding.

What type of symptoms or issues might be significant enough that it is worth receiving an assessment from a psychologist?

For therapy specifically, it’s worth considering an assessment if your child has experienced trauma (i.e., child physical/emotional/sexual abuse, neglect, natural disaster, domestic violence, community violence, interpersonal violence, instability throughout their lifes) or life changes (i.e., changes in caregiver, changes in life situation, death of a loved one), or you notice significant changes in your child’s mood or behavior (such as doing things that seem out of character), having trouble getting along with others in a variety of settings (i.e., school, camp, home, after school programs), or struggling in school with friendships or grades. Any noticeable difference could be a sign they’re having a tough time, and that’s okay. These signs do not need to be drastic as they can happen on a continuum or spectrum. Even if you don’t see major changes, but your child seems withdrawn, quiet, worries a lot, or has trouble staying focused on tasks, it might be a good time to check in and seek professional help to support them.

What is your universal piece of advice?

My universal advice would be to slow down. There’s always so much going on in our lives, and I think we often forget to just take a moment and breathe. It might sound cheesy, but slowing down gives us the space to really understand what’s happening around us and within us so that we can live intentionally and not reactively.